I think I must be amongst the few who really, really don’t enjoy going to the company end-of-year-function. As soon as I hear rumblings of a date I’m the first one with a hand up to say I’m busy that day and can’t attend. No matter how many dates they come up with, I’m always busy.
This year I’ve been stumped though, it’s a lunch time event, and unless I take leave or have a Doctor’s certificate I will be going.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against having the party and firmly back the people who enthusiastically attend, it’s just that I don’t want to be there. I’m not even sure why I feel this way. Maybe it’s down to previous parties where awards have been handed out for mundane and stupid things, or having to wear a dorky hat that makes you look about as attractive as a decrepit moron.
My worst though is the cranking out of the Karaoke machine. Inevitably the person who thinks – and I stress thinks – they can sing has to have the mic wrestled from their grip only to be placed in the hands of some tone-deaf person who should have feigned a sore throat i.e. me.
But more than likely it’s because of the politics that go into organizing it. Without fail the mother-grundies come out to gripe about the menu, or grumble they can’t take a partner, or not having enough booze, or the music will be too loud, and even it’s too far to travel or the seating plan is unfair etc etc. By the time all that has been aired and regurgitated over the course of several weeks the party-mood for me is flatter than ever.
So what do I do? Find a place in a dark corner where nobody will notice if I discretely slip out after dessert and make a runner for my car? Or drink plenty and float my way through the afternoon until my husband picks me up and pours me into the car.
Mmmm, choices, choices…