please respond to my umpteenth email/phonecall/beating drum/smoke signal etc etc

Making appointments to see people in an attempt to grow your business is destructive to one’s health.  And to be honest, I’m surprised there isn’t far more technology rage reported.

How often have you been requested to “send me an email, or call me on my cell, and we can set up something” only to find weeks later you’re still waiting for a reply?    And how often do you follow up this email/phone call/SMS only to be told – when said recipient finally gets back to you 3 months later – that you’re too pushy, or they need further information before they can even begin to start dialogue with you, or that they’ve found a different supplier? 

Corporates are by far the worst.  There is one large retailer who has instructed all employees to not make or return calls to cellphones.  Instead they wait for you to call them back, which would be fine if they stayed at their desks long enough to answer the ringing device affectionately known as a phone.  And heaven help you try calling their cellphone, because that little marvel is inevitable switched off while they’re in a meeting.

A rather senior buyer employed by the same retailer let slip he doesn’t even bother to read emails.  So why does the moron request you communicate in this way?

Another peeve is communicating via corporate or government websites.  These beauty’s really wear me out.  Navigating these sites to find a direct number to an employee at Head Office is a complete waste of time.  You might just as well stick your head down the loo and flush repeatedly. I’m actually starting to wonder if Head Office is nothing more than a  cubicle with a single receptionist employed to irritate the public at large.

I recently logged onto a government website looking for help. Big mistake, the help page should have been headed “let’s confuse you even more”.  I then decided to call the helpline and was told to email my problem as the helpline had no idea how to assist – so why have the help line?  Eventually I received an email back asking me to call the help line for help.  Duh, I’ve already told you in my email that the help line couldn’t help and was told to call you.  Days later I’m still none the wiser and will no doubt pay a fine for submitting my information late.

I can fully understand why that dear lady handcuffed herself at SARS as a final attempt to get her – yes her – money back.  She had probably exhausted every communication available to her and needed to take such drastic measure to resolve her problem. 

What is the answer to this then?  Simple, answer your phone, reply to my email, read my smoke signals and listen to my beating drum for I am your customer, supplier, a decent human being, and I deserve some respect, or at least to hear your voice.

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