Went to see George Clooney’s “up in the air” last night and came out thinking maybe, just maybe it is time to leave the old job and do something wonderful and intellectually stimulating.
Clooney’s character was smooth and it was painful to watch as long–serving employees were given the old-heave-ho. Naturally tears and anger were displayed, but in the end they were all given the message to go forth and do something they have always wanted to do, whether it be writing a book, spending more time with the family, completing the almost there degree etc.
So as to me – now in my 15th year of employment with current employer. Well there’s no retrenchment on the cards – as far as I’m aware. So my only option is to leave. I’ve tried several times to muster up courage to do so, and annoyingly the old comfort zone holds me back. But if I was to do so, what would I do with myself?
I know I do not want to work with computers anymore. Burn-out settled in some years ago, and igniting my enthusiasm once again will take something like a volcanic eruption. I completed a degree in Archival Science a couple of years ago and loved my 2 week stint working at the Roeland Street Archives as part of my course. As a side note, if you’ve never been to the archives to touch and feel your ancestors records, do yourself a favour and do so. The history there is mind-blowing. So that could be an option, unleash the archivist in me!
I have no desire to learn to cook, I’m happy with my culinary-less skills thank you very much, and any joy I gain from sewing will swiftly diminish if I’m doing it for work and not pleasure. There is no wish to climb mountains, and learning to play an instrument is best left to people with talent.
I thought about going to UCT to complete the writing masters course, but feel afraid to share my writing. How ridiculous is that when I’m doing it here? The difference being, on a course everybody will be looking at me.
A safe option is to join the family business. By doing this I can have less restricted hours, and no longer have a feeling of being monitored. The down side of this is working with hubby. Love him to bits, but being attached 24-7 will not be healthy for us.
Despite all my fears and uncertainties, the desire to move on is mounting. It is abundantly clear to me that I do not want to find myself with regret for options not pursued, on the day before I retire.
I think what I must remind myself of is that if I can spend my time motivating my children to pursue a dream, surely I have to lead by example and pursue mine.