We must surely have the most miserable tea-lady on the planet. Goodness me, she looks as if she’ll trip over her bottom lip any day now. It’s nothing new, this grumpiness thing. No, it’s been there from day 1. Added to this she is pretty bleak at doing her job and nobody – including me – has the balls to confront her. I think mostly out of fear she’ll doctor your favourite beverage or beat the living poop out of you.
She also refuses to greet anybody and will wait all day for you to acknowledge her before she will utter a single word towards you. Also, if she doesn’t like you, of whom there are many of us, she refuses to remove cups etc from your desk and will grunt and point at crockery until you hand it over. In fact she has just come to my desk – at which point my fingers froze over my keyboard – and swiped my bowl with such disdain I almost felt like apologizing for eating this morning.
Our other tea-ladies are quite the nicest, actually no, only one of them is. The other more senior lady has serious anger management issues. She has the type of glare that leaves you shaking and your insides curdling. Heaven forbid you spill a drop of milk in her company, eish, the backlash is worst than 50 lashes at dawn.
A previous tea-lady had a drinking problem, not at work, but socially. This often meant she wouldn’t arrive on a Monday, but she was good when she was here. Until she attended to meetings that is. Then she would slam the beverage tray on the table that left no doubt in anybody’s mind that she was not impressed with all the extra work, and heaven help you if you didn’t drink everything and leave plenty of biscuits for her. Sadly she left, and miserable-tea-lady arrived.
After much consideration, I firmly believe these lovely tea-ladies have missed their vocation and would be much better suited at debt collection or bounty-hunting. If I close my eyes I can seem them chasing defaulters while threatening them with urns and tea trays. Their success rate will be phenomenal.