Really bad sales pitch Mr!…and by the way, what did you say?

If it wasn’t for hubby being with me and the prospect of a nice lunch, a certain salesman at Cavendish might well have found himself with his well loved product up his you know what!


Hubby and I were approaching one of our favourite haunts for a quick bite when we were accosted by a very enthusiastic and overly confident Salesman. Needless to say hubby decided to flee and left me to it – thanks mate.


The conversation went something like this – I’ve omitted some of the conversation as it was just so exhausting. But suffice to say the extract below will give you an idea of what transpired:


Salesman (SM) “come, let jkljj, jljioiuoi, jhouok, dirty, jlkjlj, werewr.”

Me: “Huh?” it was apparent he was foreign – somewhere over the pond I think – and thought he had a good command of the English lingo.  I on the other hand think he failed English101.

SM: “jljlkjj, skin, jwerewr. Dirty, asdasd asdfasdf ewerdd, you use?”

Me: “excuse me?”

SM: “werew show you.” He beckons me to a counter and washes my hands with some salts and proudly shows me the grimy water. “asdfsdf, dirty skin jasdfasdf. Asdfasd know xcxzc dead sea.”

Me: “No.”

SM: Starting to get annoyed with me. His eyes starting to darken. “addfad not know dead sea!?”

Me: “Ah, dead sea, yes I know. How much does this cost?” Product not dead sea that is.

SM: “tell me, adadf how sdfadf clothes in cupboard?”

Me:  “well a fair amount.”

SM: “adad you spend adadaa on clothes adfasdff but not adfasdf dirty skin.”


By now I’m starting to get really fed up with him and kept repeating my question of how much. He in turn babbles even more gibberish, of which I only catch a few words sounding something like, more dirty skin, dead sea, whole body, clothes and shoes. Eventually and most begrudgingly he tells me R600 for one and R800 for the other.   I start laughing and he gets even more annoyed, plus all his sentences start to sound as if they finish with an exclamation mark.


SM: “adfadsf pay adfadf use adfdads on your dirty skin!”

Me: I’m now thinking that if tells me I have dirty skin one more time he’ll be shortly snorting the salts. “No I won’t be using it.”

SM: “Not use!.adsfadsf I aadadf manager. Not use!”

Me: laughing and not helping the situation at all. “Yes, not use. Too expensive.”

SM: “I give you asdfadsf voucher. Come.”

Me: following him and wondering what the hell I want with this voucher. “What?”

SM: taps on a Point of Sale touch screen and produces a docket which he attempts to give me along with a box of product.

Me: “what is the voucher for?”

SM: now he’s really annoyed with me. “you not use adasdf not adsfasdf want. Rwerew clothes, adsdfsd you adfasdf dirty skin!”

Me: laughing all the more. “No I will not use.”

SM: “then sdfadf why you want voucher?!”

Me: “I didn’t ask for your voucher.”

SM: “you waste aadf adsfasdf time!”

And with that his patience runs out, he turns his back, scrunchies up the voucher and shoves the box back on the counter.


If you got to the end of this, then you’ll know how I felt that day.  Jeepers was I glad of a coffee and a sandwich after that experience.



13 thoughts on “Really bad sales pitch Mr!…and by the way, what did you say?

  1. malma

    Eek, I hate that and lately there are so many little stands popping up in the malls selling these ‘wonder’ products. Wishing you a wonderful year ahead, Ruth.

  2. robinhawkins

    I take no prisoners in situations like that. I know what I want when I go into a store. So to me the salesman is there simply to answer specific questions from me, regarding specific things. They start on a pitch, I just stop them dead in their tracks with: “Look, I’ve come here with real cash money to buy this bed. I don’t want to hear the wonders of that one with the gold star on at 3 grand more. I don’t want any sales pitch. I just want that one there. Get the paperwork done and tell me when you will deliver.” It generally works. If it doesn’t, I’m out of there and into another store.

  3. anotherdayinparadise

    Hehehe. You have way more patience than I would have had, Ruth. I just become deaf and blind when one of these salesmen approaches. It may be rude of me, but I don’t do unsolicited sales pitch.

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