Sales Assistant Idol

I don’t know what it is, but I often find myself unwillingly participating in Sales Assistant Idol as I do my weekly shop. You may well have endured this to.  And if you have, well I feel for you.


At the start of the audition there are no formal introductions and name exchanges. Clearly the sharing of personal information being seen as irrelevant and time wasting. And to back this up, I have yet to encounter a store manager/supervisor at the till-point, cucumber in hand, acting as presenter. Admittedly the assistants often have a name badge, but they definitely do not have a number slapped on their chests, not even a staff number.


It’s just a case of hand over your purchase and off they go. You can almost see them flexing their vocal chords as they grip and scan your first item before launching into song with the second. Heaven help you if you have a trolley-load, you could be there for Whitney Houston’s’ greatest hits.


This weekend is a case in point.  There I was, happily returning an item when my sales-assistant decided to audition her way through the transaction.  The song was a lovey-dovey hit and it was a reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyy bad cover.  I gritted my teeth and wished I had the gonads of Simon Cowell to tell her she sounded like a wailing cat with no hope of going platinum. 


Now let’s be fair, she didn’t belt it out. But she was really into it. Her face was etched with passion and you could tell her Mariah Carey wails were coming from deep, deep within her gut. I swear her bottom lip was quivering and her eyes were swooning as she hit the keyboard, but sadly and agonisingly not the notes.  


I was sorely tempted to hand over a score card instead of my credit card. And if I had of done, she would have received a hefty  -54!   She was horrendous.



10 thoughts on “Sales Assistant Idol

  1. Lungi_Lee

    I have seen the Assistant Idol, but wait till you get the Idol that has the moves too…And walks in the shop bumping and grinding…And thinks my jaw has dropped in awe of the dance moves…

  2. anotherdayinparadise

    Never happened to me either, but I can just imagine. What I really dislike is the way they flick through my new magazine before scanning it and throwing it to the packer, who then also has a free look at it. Very rude! xx

  3. kat64

    It’s too dreadful for words. Aren’t you glad you don’t live with them and have to hear them in the shower?It’s also really, REALLY bad customer service too.

  4. robinhawkins

    This has never happened to me, and IT HAD BETTER NOT. Salesperson must try that on me and it’ll be the last transaction she ever does.

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