My hair through the ages

My hair has always been a bone of contention for me.  I’ve mostly struggled with finding the right style and endured much embarrassment through incorrect choices.  So it got me thinking, where did all this start…

When I was very, very young, my grandfather would occasionally cut my hair.  And as you can imagine, being around the ages of 0-5, it was kind of tough saying “Back off granddad, your styling is up to poop.”  It doesn’t take a lot of imagination to picture the results of these scissor-sessions, just think pudding bowl, garden shears, terrified toddler and wannabe barber.  Got it?  Yes, not all that attractive.

 

At some stage my step-mum took to my hair, and she was a whizz with a razor of sorts, and I soon progressed to what was termed a feather-cut.  A better description would be the mullet.  Again not so attractive for a young girl who still had a rather round chubby face.  Actually my whole body was chubby, so if you can imagine a hippo with a mullet, you’re kind of on the right track.

Then of course Princess Diana hit the scene, and I had the Diana cut, and let’s be fair, it doesn’t suit everybody, and it didn’t work for me.

From then on I struggled to find a  style that really worked, and alternated through hair styled however-it was-at-that-moment, to short –and-boring-no-more-mullet.

I made a fatal mistake one day and had my hair cut on the day of a wedding.  What a disaster!  Pixie cut was cutting it fine, I might just as well have been scalped.  But it’s funny how your memory blocks things, because I did it again, years later, during a lunch break.   Suffice to say my colleagues gasped and laughed, and I went home wishing I could have a six month sabbatical while my hair grew back.

After that I migrated through a bob of varying lengths, depending on the scissor-cutter of the moment.  Oh, I did have the Rachel, from Friends, cut that wasn’t bad, but as the right side of my hair insists on flipping the wrong direction, it was pretty tough to maintain.

So as I say, I drifted back to the bob.   If you’ve ever had a bob, you’ll know how many versions there are of this.  I’ve had the long at the front and short at the back bob, the extremely bouncy bob, the straighter than straight bob, the no fringe all hair one length bob and the far too short bob. Is it no wonder I have married a man called Bob…

My hair took on a terrifying look when I moved to Johannesburg. My sadistic scissor-cutter decided to give me a Cameron Diaz fringe.  Don’t ask me why, but I kept going back to this stylist, and no matter how many times I asked her not to do that sticky up thing, she kept on doing it.  Luckily we moved and my hair went into a whole new group of scissor-hands.

So now, current day,  and my hair is long.  I love it and have received a lot of compliments from family and friends who think I’ve finally got it right – taken me long enough!  Problem is, I wake up in the morning looking like a demented yeti and spend far too long putting it right.  A-ha, said my latest scissor-cutter, at night, put it in a pony-tail or bun, and in the morning you will be fine.  I tried it and yes it works, albeit with the use of many, many clips.  The end result being a sort of halo of sliver clamping wayward bits in place.

The trouble is I’m starting to feel like my nan.  Nan never went to bed without clips and hair net in place.  Retrospectively I wonder if she had a cobweb maker in her bathroom cabinet .  I can imagine her brushing her teeth and then sticking her head in the cabinet and selecting either a light or heavy net button.  Mostly the nets were a grey colour, but I’m sure she had a couple of lilac ones.

My husband must really be wondering what the hell is going on as I sit in bed, pinning my hair up and looking once again so not attractive.  I will draw the line at the net though….hang on a minute, did I not mention I wouldn’t be wearing long-johns?

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25 thoughts on “My hair through the ages

  1. I’m glad you found a style that is working for you. I can sympathise with your hair story because I also have very difficult hair. For some reason it has been even worse than usual the past two months. I wake up to a new style every morning and it takes so much effort to get it to look like something I’d be happy to be seen out with each day. Maybe it’s our cold and damp weather that’s causing it but it is really stressing me out.

    1. so true about damp effect.The last couple of months I can’t leave the house without a hat, stuffed full of my hair, especially when we walk the dogs.. If I don’t I frizz up and have to re-do my hair before leaving the house again

  2. Octogenarian Nan

    Believe it or not, I suffered with my hair, too. A much younger me had very thick, curly hair and I suffered years of “thinning out” to try and control it.
    I longed for sleek, long hair in the, then fashionable, page-boy bob (there’s Bob again) I had to have mine short and curly. It never grew long, it always grew outwards. It’s too late now for that page-boy and it is still short but not quite so curly. Love” ” Octogenarian Nan”

    1. The page-boy bob, that is so right, that is exactly what they called it when it first became the rage. Than’s for that reminder. My mum who is now in her seventies still has thick, now grey, hair that sits at shoulder length, which is amazing because I’ve only ever known her to have short hair, and also very permed at times.

  3. I used to have hair all the way down my back, and it is thick and curly, I would leave it loose at night and would have to wash it every day to be able to do something with it. One day I was bored and cut it all off – my partner at the time would not speak to me for hours!

  4. Like AD my hair is also fine and straight. Long ago I used to have it permed, but the styling after a wash was a disaster and took too long. Since living at the hot, humid coast I’ve kept it short.
    In Dutch my hair is called “melkboerenhondenhaar”. It just means: hair that doesn’t look like anything. To crown it all (so to speak) it has started to thin, as if it wasn’t thin enough, and I now have to treat it with “stuff” so as not to lose it all.

    1. you just can’t win can you. Either too much or too little. exasperating! I forgot, but I also had a perm and hated it, and ended up wearing a scarf for days before I could cut it all out!

  5. I still greatly wonder why people have discarded wigs. Style it on the dummy, sleep happily in one’s crew-cut, and then become a perfectly-groomed blonde or redhead or whatever matches the outfit within seconds of waking up in the morning!

    1. I quite like that idea, but maybe I won’t have a crew-cut. whenever I’m in shop with wigs I am always so tempted to try them on. If they slipped on easier, I would have done so.

      1. I’ve seen many stage costume changes where well-fitting and convincing wigs are swapped in about two seconds flat for changes of character. Practice, maybe?

  6. Hahaha. My hair has always been a bone of contention with me, being very fine and straight. I just have to budget for an hour a day to get it to look sort of acceptable. Hubby always says it looks “fine.” I KNOW it’s “fine”; that’s the whole problem. 😉

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