Flaying in a quagmire of doubt while seeking the return of my passion

Ever since I was a child my passion was to write. I remember my first attempt at journalism around the age of 9 or 10, give or take a couple of years that is. I wrote an entertainment piece on an A5 piece of John Dickinson writing paper. The content was light hearted, and I even took on the part of paparazzi by adding an image, albeit a coloured pencil attempt. I tucked it into the morning newspaper and waited for it to be read.

Life doesn’t always go to plan, and journalism became an unfulfilled dream as children, marriage, divorce and IT happened.  Despite this, years later I found the need to join words reappearing. I wrote a novel. I rewrote the novel. And then I rewrote it again. The problem was I didn’t have the confidence to share it with anybody – my fear of being ridiculed was deep. Yet I knew I had to do something, and with this in mind I started blogging, figuring I could hide behind an avatar and if nobody liked what I said, then so be it, I could trash it all and start making jam instead – yeah right, jam ain’t happ’nin’ in my kitchen!

Well the blogging seemed to go pretty well and I’ve met some wonderful people here, who by commenting and engaging in conversation have boosted my confidence no end. To you all I say a massive thank you while sending a virtual hug and or pat on the back.

Novel number 2 took over 2013, with my blogging suffering to the point of almost vanishing. But boy have I’ve missed you all! I can’t believe how many of your happy moments, your frustrations, your raging hormones and your  wonderful photos I have missed.

So what about both novels then. Well number 1 was professionally edited and is as we speak flaying about somewhere around the bottom of far too many Agent’s slush piles. Novel number 2 was written as part of a writers masterclass, and after receiving positive feedback over many months the final review left me confused, sending me into a quagmire of doubt that seemed content on settling around my nostrils.

That was about 6 weeks or so ago, and so far I haven’t been able to revisit number 2. I started number 3,  and then number 4, but the passion is not there anymore. I miss it though and have decided to return to my love of blogging where I can poke fun at my hubby once again. Yes it is true, hubby has still not earned his I-can-switch-on-a-laptop badge.

My plan then for 2014 is to run two blogs. Yes complete madness, but there is a reason for this. Ruth2Day will be me talking, while blog 2 will be Letters to Florrie. Letters to Florrie being a very one sided conversation from a rather eccentric elderly lady called Maud.  It will be tongue-in-cheek-daft and will hopefully help me to reignite my passion to write.

With all this in mind, hubby has placed a glass of Chardonnay next to my keyboard, my youngest daughter is cooking lunch, and Letters to Florrie is waiting for final tweaks before launching. I therefore end by sending you my very best wishes for 2014 and my hopes that your lives be full of adventure and laughter.

I raise my Chardonnay to you 🙂

20 thoughts on “Flaying in a quagmire of doubt while seeking the return of my passion

  1. If you have a novel already professionally edited (by a GOOD professional, hopefully) there is no reason it shouldn’t become available on eBook and POD, even while you still explore the conventional publishing route.
    Often, neither the products of a masterclass nor the crits thereof are completely reliable indicators of a person’s writing ability. If your No 2 is not something you like yourself on re-reading, then you were misdirected.
    Having it ‘out there’ can also lead to approaches by publishers instead of it being the other way round, as I discovered.

    1. thanks for this, that’s some good advice, and yes it was professionally edited. When you say ebook and POD are you referring to kindle? I’m very keen to get number 1 self published, so all hints and tips will be greatly appreciated. thank you so much again

      1. No, Kindle is one of the eBook routes, For POD (Print on Demand) internationally, Lulu or Amazon are top of the pile. I started with Lulu, but Amazon have a very good and surprisingly reasonable distribution system. If it weren’t for the disgusting fact that SA imposes duties on books printed overseas, it would make economic sense to do away with the local publishers – and the quality from Virgin Islands (where Amazon gets SA printing done) is excellent judging from a proof I received recently.
        The self-publishing route is littered with pitfalls for the uninitiated, and outlaying funds for a print run can be a risky business.
        The SA publishers I do editing and proofreading for might be able to do a local POD and an eBook deal.. .Maybe we should get in touch by email?.

  2. Keith Bradbury

    It can be hard pushing against a brick wall , I know with my music trying to get work is a up hill battle. So steeping back from the books and writing blogs is a good way to keep your hand in with out the hard work of writing a book. But never give up completely just keep it going on the back burner

  3. Manisha


    I’m Manisha Singh and I’m 14 years old.
    Since I’m 10 I am dreaming of becoming a journalist. Writing has become something like a passion, a habbit. I write fiction stories but also things that are happening in my life nowadays. Just to let it all out.
    I wonder, have you ever given up on becoming a journalist?
    Did you ever think ‘No, this isn’t a good job for me. I should look for something else.’
    Because, I believe, when you really want something and when you have the courage to work for it, you can achieve it.

    Yours Sincerely,

    1. Hello Manisha, thank you so much for stopping by. I think you are right to keep striving for our dreams, but I think mine will now be novels and who knows maybe I can be a columnist one day. Best of luck to you 🙂

      1. Manisha


        Thank you for replying.
        As long as you do what you like, it’s fine, that’s the most important thing in life. Do what you like.

        Thank you!

        Yours sincerely,

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